


Want another one?

by Sahirva_Lonys



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, I love fun arguments, Izaya reigns, M/M, Past Mpreg, of course that's how Psyche would be raised (so I think)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 12:46:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14261283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sahirva_Lonys/pseuds/Sahirva_Lonys
Summary: Shizuo and Izaya are happy and harmonious (in their way) with their child Psyche. Settled in with the 7 year old, the question of whether they should have another comes up. Things can never just be discussed smoothly with those two, though, can it?





	1. Shall we?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I present my first fanfic, though I've been a medium-time fan and in it for the long run. Comment any feedback, including spelling errors. Seriously, I'll appreciate it, I like good grammar. We can be grammar buddies! Anyway, here it is.

Years after events in high school brought them together, Shizuo and Izaya live a happy – if occasionally chaotic – life in Ikebukuro. Their recently turned 7 son, Psyche, is nearing the end of 2nd grade. On this particular school day, Shizuo awoke to find Izaya had already gone downstairs to get ready. That wasn’t unusual, Izaya usually stayed up later and woke earlier than he did. Coming down the stairs to find Izaya in the kitchen, wearing an apron, with various ingredients and utensils out, that _was_ unusual. Shizuo paused, disbelief and careful alertness rousing him from his morning lethargy.

It's not that Izaya couldn't cook, he could. He'd cooked for his sisters plenty growing up. He just didn't like it. Occasionally, for various reasons, he'd spontaneously develop the want to cook for Shizuo and/or Psyche, but those occasions were few and far between. Of course, there were also a few times Izaya cooked when he didn't want to, but the reasons involved in those incidents were... well... Shizuo decided not to think about them, and instead intently survey the current situation.

-Shizuo’s eyes darted around the kitchen from his tense position at the entrance. _Just a bunch of ingredients pulled out, nothing actually cooking…_ He relaxed a little, gaze settling on Izaya, who’d remained leaning against the counter in that effortlessly poised manner of his. Casually relaxed, like a model in a magazine, but with an electrifying edge that those who knew anything about him recognized as danger. Just a little instinctual jolt from the body’s deeper fight or flight instincts. The only change was an amused grin from observing Shizuo’s reaction to his prepared set-up.

_Damn flea, awake and stupid active the second his eyes open. Most decent people take a little grace period this early._ "Mornin'.", he grunted, with a super obvious wary face.

Izaya’s grin slipped wider, and more wicked, complete with flirty half-lidded eyes. "Mornin' lover dear" he greeted.

“You're... cooking?” It was asked carefully, Shizuo’s guard still up.

“No, I woke up with a craving for a special breakfast, which I thought I could persuade you make with some apron encouragement.”

Shizuo’s posture loosened, expression now interested rather than wary. Just standard, open manipulation then. Shizuo didn’t mind that for the little stuff.

Shizuo grunted an affirmative. “Psyche ready?”

"Everything except clothes. My little Mongoose likes to look cute, and is trying to pick out just the right first skirt today.'

“Yeah, I saw you two came in yesterday with, what, 50 new skirts and dresses? What's up with that? I thought we talked about spoiling him.”

“Well, it started when Psyche’s teacher said only girls can wear them. Psyche thinks they're cute, and wondered why she can’t wear them too. That bitch went on some spiel or other, don't worry, I took care of that,"

Shizuo’s eyebrows shot up, he knew his husband. “What did you-“

Izaya chattered on, as though hadn't even heard, “and had a discussion with psyche about how stupid that is. If that's the kind of clothes she likes, then that’s what she likes. Which turned into an instructional conversation on different kinds of people and personal identity."

"You didn't-"

"No, I held back so she wouldn't get overloaded with information. As if more information's such a bad thing..." Izaya adds last bit under his breath in a derisive manner.

Shizuo frowns, knowing how in-depth Izaya can and will get about anything and everything.

"Anyway, Psyche, genius mind that she has, soaked it up and got curious about what it would be like living as a girl for a while. So try to use 'she' for now."

"Alright, just don't lose your shit if I accidentally use 'he' sometimes at first, it's 5 years of habit. A simple reminder will work, none of that Momzilla crap like the 'Harry Potter incident'.”

“That was your own fault Shizu-chan, and I continue to maintain the position that I did NOT overreact."

"Uh-huh, sure." Shizuo responded, obviously not agreeing.

Izaya started to get that look on his face like he was going to be difficult, so Shizuo quickly went on. "So, I don't care about ‘he’ or ‘she’, just don't confuse Psyche with your obsessiveness! Whatever is, is. They'll grow into whatever in time. What breakfast was it you wanted so much?" Though he could already guess from the foods and pans and such that had been pulled out, and started prepping even as he asked.

"Awww, Shizu-chan's such a good papa. Though I would be doubly shocked and hate you otherwise, with how impossible to not absolutely love and adore our mongoose is."

Shizuo smiled, then was suddenly struck with the impulse to suggest "Want another?"

"I think one pack of bacon's enough for you, Shizu-chan. I stopped wanting you to die from a heart episode years ago."

"I meant another kid."

Izaya was fully struck dumb for a moment. Shizuo took a mental picture and filed the split second away in his mind; dumbstruck Izaya only happened so often. Then, just as quickly, his brain kicked back in and the gears started turning, mulling the idea over.

"Maybe..." a small, gentle, joyous smile bloomed across his face. Cue mental snapshot number two for Shizuo, though this latter had become more common since Psyche joined their world.

_Shapin’ up to be a pretty damn good morning._ Shizuo thought to himself.

The soft smile quirked up into a signature Izaya smirk. “But _you're_ having the next one Shizu-chan~”

“What?! No!!!”

Izaya playfully pouted, or tried to, but signs of very real dissatisfaction seeped in to his expression, with at-the-ready switch blades in the shadows of his eyes.

Shizuo noticed, and gulped. From experience, he knew he would have to tread carefully and pick the right words to explain himself. _Shit._ He wasn't good at that.

Izaya made the first move. "That was fast. And emphatic. Very much so on both counts, actually. Is it really _that_ crazy for me to bring up?"

Shizuo scrambled to defuse the minefield he’d vaulted into, dead center. "No! I mean, not crazy or anything, I just don't think it's the best idea."

Izaya smiled a very Izaya smile. You know the one. "A bad idea?"

"Not the best, I said _not the best_ , not _bad_ , there's a difference! No twisting words if we're talking about this!” There was a tinge of panic Shizuo worked to quash, he needed to keep as calm as possible to stave off accidentally saying things the wrong way. Izaya’s appreciation and understanding for his awkwardness was out the window and halfway to Ireland when in this particularly caustic shade of anger.

“K, first off, we could always adopt or something instead. But if we do want another one naturally,"

Izaya snorted.

“Mostly naturally, it's just, my job has me going out and sometimes knocking some heads, it's required! And that's not a safe environment for carrying a baby. You can work from home. And you said you liked doing it!"

“Ohhhhh~?”

Shizuo gulped internally, externally he froze. Slightly widened eyes fixed on Izaya's widened grin, his mind scrambling for which part had been most offensive so he could try and fix it first.

“Well, 'environment', impressive 4-syllable word Shizu-chaaan~ But putting that aside and leaving the 'sometimes' alone for now, Shizu-chan's memory is a bit lacking, ne~?” He started, settling into a deceptively relaxed looking position; leaning just a bit forward, resting lightly on the hands set on the island counter over which his gaze travelled to lock onto every detail of Shizuo. And Shizuo knew, appearances aside, Izaya’s muscles were coiled for lightning fast motion the instant he decided Shizuo’s words merited it.  
“My work _does_ require going out, meeting people, often _dangerous_ people. More importantly, I _like_ that part of my work. In fact, seeing the results of my efforts, observing humans is my **fav-or-ite** " Izaya pointedly enunciated every syllable in a sharp staccato, taking a second’s pause to really let it sink in, "part."

Shizuo stood very still, instinctively trying to not do anything that might make things worse.

Finally, ice cold, he concluded: "You are being _very_ inconsiderate of my feelings, brute."

Izaya backed off slightly, having expressed his displeasure. A small sign that had Shizuo relaxing a bit too much, a bit too soon.

Izaya continued, in more of a congenial tone. "In regards to that last bit, what I specifically said was that it was a _rewarding experience_ that I could _enjoy in the moment, appreciate_ as _unique_ and _beautiful_ and would _never take back_. Note: no mention of longing for a repeat."

Hands in pockets and shoulders a little hunched, like a child who knows he's got a sucky comeback, Shizuo pout mumbled "S'lot of positives for something you don't want to do."

Izaya's eyes narrowed, eye-blades flicked out, all traces of playfulness gone.

Fuck.

“Shizu-chan~” Izaya drawled out, deceptively slow and considering. As though he couldn't (or wouldn't), in all his deep thought, just snap across the kitchen island without so much as a twitch in warning to try and cut Shizuo to ribbons faster than he could blink.

And he wouldn’t. Probably. Still, Shizu knew _waaaaay_ better what kinds of things he would do.

“I-“

“I TAKE IT BACK!”

It was flung out desperately, before he even realized he was shouting his surrender at the top of his lungs.

Izaya didn't make a move, just continued to gaze sharply narrowed eyes directly at Shizuo. He still had that molasses slow considering aura, head vaguely tilting, his stance one hand on the island; practically _casual_ , damn him.

After a moment, Shizuo haltingly went on 'I mean- you're right, it's not fair to, uh, just- _assume_ you'd go through all that again, we could, well, discuss it, that is, there is room for, um, uh... negotiation! Yeah, so, I mean-'

As predicted, Izaya leaped without a moment's warning at Shizuo. Shizuo tensed, too slow, to then find Izaya not at his throat with a switchblade, but with arms around his neck, legs tight around his hips in a koala hug.

A quick peck to the lips, and with a bit of a lean back and throwing one arm in the air Izaya exclaimed “Thanks Shizu-chan!”

This time it was Shizuo’s turn to be struck dumb, but he had a slower recovery time.

“Yay! Mutual agreement! So, how does tomorrow work for going to visit Shinra? No wait, that's no good, oooh!!! This evening! This morning!!!!! I've been meaning to take Psyche dear in for a check-up, let's do it now! I know you said I'm too much of a mother hen, and he just had one last week, but caring for our child too much is never a bad thing. Honestly, how can you know if those hiccups weren't a sign of something worse? They lasted 7 minutes and 39 seconds! That's much longer than it normally takes to get rid of them. And now we have a second reason that makes it even more worth it. Yay Shizu-chan!!!'

Shizuo recovered quietly, eyes to the ceiling, resigned to his fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually an epilogue idea to a longer fic I started to have inspiration on, but I tend to write in random sections, going off of wherever I have inspiration from bullet points of the more complete plot plan I've worked out, so that's pretty far away from being finished. Also this turned out to be too much fun, and still works just on it's own, so this is what I'm starting with. Hope it was a fair read!


	2. Parenting Tips (are unappreciated)

Shortly after breakfast same morning, an enthusiastic Izaya and definitely-not-as-enthusiastic Shizuo (who had had to call in to Tom while they dropped off Psyche that he wouldn’t be in until that afternoon; No, no, everything’s fine, just the flea being- well, never mind that) were visiting Celty and Shinra's.

"Shut up flea, that's not what we're here for already, we discussed this"

Izaya, off-topic since they’d entered, said ' _You_ made statements about this, I disagreed. So I ignored them. I really should've brought Psyche, those hiccups were very-“

“For the hundredth time, no. It was nothing." Shinra, who’d endured a lot of relentless mama-bear Izaya over the past seven years, was stonily firm in his response, some built-up frustration on the mournfully familiar argument leaking into his tone.

"But what if-"

"Just no."

"Leave it flea. Psyche really wanted to go to school today, and we came to talk about the next one, not him."

Izaya looked at him pointedly.

Shizuo’s expression was blank for a second, before: "Right, her."

[Her?] Celty chimed in, having just returned to the room and set out the tea.

Izaya brightened. "My little mongoose is engaging in a little gender exploration, and taking very well to my lessons on the subject."

[That's sweet. She is very smart and curious, and likes to learn.]

"Yes!!!" With sudden intense enthusiasm, Izaya launches into a rapid-fire listing of informational topics. "We've been through different gender classifications, the history of gender issues in Japan, as well as other countries, the current political status on the topic, various important figures, the steps in psychologica-"

"IIIIzaaaayaaaaaaa!!!! I told you not to do that!"

A razor glare was promptly directed Shizuo’s way. "I thought you said you had no problem with my teaching Psyche darling about-"

"Not if you keep it simple! You do this every time! Psyche's never going to have time to just be a 7 year old if every time she shows an interest in something, you drop a complete fucking university degree of information about it!"

Izaya, as per his nature when against a wall, went on the offensive. "Some people _like_ using their brains, Shizu-chan. It's _fun._ I know it's hard to understand when you don't really have one, but geniuses like sweetheart Psyche and I-"

"IZAYA."

[That does seem excessive Izaya, kids need time to just play. Even genius kids. You know how much Psyche loves make-believe, and singing, and dancing.]

Izaya, recognizing he was outnumbered, chose to switch tactics to pouting. Nearly convinced himself it was primarily just a tactic, too. Shizuo ignored this and pressed forward with his rare advantage in well-reasoned arguments.

"And when you pulled her away from stuffed animal tea-time and ultimate fighting throw down last Tuesday? For an in-depth talk on explosion thermody-dywhatevers? Do you not remember that - totally justified - tantrum? From one question- 'how do guns work?' Why the fuck was she even asking that?!?"

[GUNS?!?!?]

"Tuesday...?" Shinra, thus far staying out of any more troublesome direct confrontation with Izaya, shifted thoughtfully. His expression was one of blank, mild concentration, eyebrows vaguely furrowed.

"Right!?" Shizuo exclaimed, very glad for Celty's support here.

Izaya, still pouty and increasingly becoming legitimately distressed, whined out "Psyche _likes_ my lessons..."

"Yeah, weirdly, but when they're a little less often and don't get _to_ o heavy."

"Tuesday..." Shinra muttered to himself.

"I stop when it's too much... Psyche lets me know... We play regular games together all the time..."

Shizuo sighed, recognizing how upset Izaya was getting and feeling bad about it, even knowing he was right to push the point. "Yeah, I know. You do good most of the time."

[You're a good parent, just a little too enthusiastic about things sometimes. Listen to Shizuo a little more. You two balance well for some reason, and that comes out when you parent together, too]

Shinra finally piped up, instantly leaping on an opportunity to gush. "Celty you are so wise and gracious! You would make the perfect mother of our children! We could start now- Guh!"

Celty let out a burst of smoke as she jabbed Shinra hard in the stomach.

Izaya exhaled loudly. "Fiiiiiine~"

With Izaya cajoled back into a better mood, Shizuo and Celty looked at each other, mutually conveying their doubt about how much he'd actually follow their advice.

Still, Celty always tried to help her friend with these kinds of things. Izaya was hard to talk around alone. He cared about Shizuo, and did try to listen, but could be very insistent on a number of things Shizuo disagreed with. It usually made at least some impact during these times when he and Celty together, whether they were both in the room or if Celty just helped Shizuo sort out his thoughts beforehand. She gave great advice, and was better at phrasing certain things Shizuo wanted to get across, and prepping him for counter-arguments, in a way Izaya had a harder time wriggling all the way out of. It also helped that Izaya didn't _enjoy_ arguing with her, like he often seemed to with Shizuo.

"Just please, think a _little_ about _what_ things are okay to teach?” Shizuo said, still with a touch of gentleness to his voice. Less so as he finished with “NOT guns."

[Yes, be choosier about subjects, please. No more guns. Or any weapon, really. If it comes up, switch to self-defence instruction instead.]

Izaya didn’t totally agree with them, but had to admit, to himself at least, they may have a bit of a point. Not all of it, though. "Psyche LOVED the crossbows and other medieval projectile weaponry lessons! We made our own at-home bows, -crossbows _and_ longbows, of course- and devised plans to ambush and assassinate Shizu-chan from ancient war strategies, it was fantastic!"

"Listen and be grateful for Celty's excellent advice Izaya, you don't deserve it!" Shinra once again interjected.

Ignoring Shinra, Celty continued [Maybe Psyche would like to learn self-defence with your sisters? They adore hi-her.]

Izaya scoffed. "More than me, even. Though I can't blame them for this one, Psyche is one of the most wonderful, beautiful beings ever to have existed. Also, I'm starting to question your judgement if you think learning to fight with _them_ will expose him to a lesser amount of lessons on malicious plots and violence."

[...They could be supervised. Closely.]

Izaya just raised an eyebrow.

[You and Shizuo are sometimes around dangerous people, it might be good to start self-defence anyways. What about Tuesdays and Thursdays when he doesn't have activities?]

"Aaaaah!!" Shinra suddenly cried out. "That's right, last Tuesday!"

All eyes turned to Shinra, Izaya’s more intently than the rest.

"It was the only time Izaya ever pushed back an exam for Psyche, because he had an important meeting with-"

This time it was Izaya who jabbed Shinra in the stomach, across the coffee table with the heel of his foot.

[Shinra!! Are you okay?!] Celty tapped out frantically as she leaned over him, hands out worriedly.

"...What?" Shizuo said flatly.

"Haha, nothing Shizu-chan~ Just Shinra being a biiiig silly doofus~"

"You wouldn't have kicked him like that if it were nothing, Flea."

"You don't know, I might have. It's happened before~"

"Yeah, when you were in an especially pissy mood, maybe. And even then, not _that_ often. Usually when he starts to annoy you, you just throw a knife near his head or something."

[Does this have to do with the gun question?] Celty shoved the text in front of Izaya’s face accusingly.

Izaya maintained his unconcerned appearance, mouth curved in a lazy smirk. "Celty, don't you have an important delivery to get to?"

[Don't change the subject!]

Then she looked at time. [Wait, I actually do! Sorry, bye Shizuo!]

[Izaya, this isn't over.]

Celty ran to get her helmet, then to the door, with Shinra to see her off.

"Here’s your bag!"

[Thank you.]

"Goodbye my sweet love, I'll be waiting with baited breath to welcome you back into my arms!"

Meanwhile, on the couch.  
Shizuo’s finger started to tap against his leg. "So who was it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was super fun to write for me, I just find pouty Iza-chan to be adorable in my head, as well as some of his parenting choices. Crossbows. Yes. You just know Iza got super into it and acrobatically positioned himself in some obscure place, like hanging from a ceiling fan, with Psyche behind a couch feeling equally badass as his awesome mama. Note: in my head that part of the room has high ceilings, with a 2nd floor balcony or something, so Shizu wouldn't notice right away coming in until the first bolt flew.


	3. Subverted Expectations

Shizuo’s finger tapped against his leg. "So who was it?"

"Who was what Shizu-chan?"

"Was it Shiki? I've been tolerant of your long working relationship with the Awakusu-Kai, and he's been surprisingly decent about the house rules once Psyche came along, but one of those rules is NO GUNS. Especially not where Psyche might see them."

Izaya took on an overly patient tone as he prepared to dance his way through this minefield. Shizuo knew nothing yet. "Shizu-chan, really, there's no need for all this."

Sighing forlornly at Celty's departure, Shinra returned to the couch.

"The word gun happened to come up, he asked what it was. I said it was a projectile weapon, and if he had more questions to wait for later."

Shizuo didn't like it, but that didn't sound as bad as he thought it might have been. There was something in Izaya's performance though- _That's it, it feels a bit too much like a performance!_ -that made him suspicious. Izaya was naturally pretty dramatic, but Shizuo had learned a lot about picking up on the nuances in his moods over the years. "That's all?"

"That's all."

"I don't like it"

"I know, but it's not like guns wouldn't come up for most children anyway, even just by watching a cartoon."

"I think you're lying."

"You always think I'm lying, or hiding something."

"Not always, just a lot."

"You see?"

"You lie and hide stuff a lot"

"Not the point, Shizu-chan."

"The HELL it isn't!" Shizuo started to tense, and the finger started tapping again, desperately trying to release more tension than a single digit and some clenched muscles could realistically hope to.

Shinra, out of patience now that Celty was gone, did not want to spend however long this took to resolve - or move elsewhere - with them in his living room. Especially if it made their visit carry into his and Celty's alone time together when she got back.

"Alright, Shizuo, Izaya, you came here for a reason. So, put all that aside for now, and let's get to it."

"Of course, Shinra" Izaya chirped all too pleasantly.

Shizuo was still except for that tapping finger, eyeing Izaya. The observed raven paid it no attention whatsoever, calmly waiting like he had all the time in the world with a perfectly sociable smile in place.

Shizuo exhaled gruffly. "Alright, get on with it."

On the side opposite from what Shizuo could see, Izaya's smile twitched up. Then, more seriously, he turned to face Shizuo.

"At the very least, you know I wouldn't let the passing thought of a threat anywhere near Psyche, right?"

Shizuo sighed, "Yeah, Izaya. That I do know, don't worry."

_Good. And that should close that mess away nicely, too. How convenient when the truth is also the best way to cover something up! So efficient~_

"And I don't lie to _you_ that often."

"Sometimes you do, for 'fun little pranks'. Or when you think it's 'not important' and want to get out of trouble?”

“Little pranks definitely don’t count.”

“So you admit the rest? But yeah, I guess pranks and stuff aside, it doesn’t happen that often. Though if you-”

They were interrupted by a grinning Shinra. "Great! All done! Now, on the topic of Shizuo having your next child by birth: with Shizuo's strength, well, honestly I wouldn't recommend it at all." The doctor cheerily stated. He hadn't seen the atmosphere in their kitchen that morning.

Shizuo's mind flashed back to that moment, and he started making nervous glances at Izaya. “Uh, Shinra...?”

Oblivious, he continued on. “His strength puts a great strain on his own body too, remember, high chance miscarriage at first bout of anger, if it even gets really started. Totally unfeasible, really.”

Shizuo tried with a bit more urgency in his voice. “Shin-'

“Alright then.” Izaya said, breezy as a seaside summer wind from a bored cubicle office worker’s vacation fantasy.

Shizuo's head whipped around, bug-eyed.

"So when should I start treatments? I'd rather not repeat the 'potentially lethal instability' your sudden, all at once and WITHOUT PERMISSION experiment on me threatened us with before. You mentioned last time, that there may be better lead-up possibilities should we want to try this again?

Shizuo gaped at Izaya, now resembling more of a big mouth bass.

Shinra, unfazed, replied, “Yes! In fact I did pretty much all the work in advance some time ago, with my first trial period right before you went on that work trip to Russia. * _Sigh_ * of course you just had to have a trip right during the only time I actually needed you to get it on with Shizuo. At least I got some data from the tests when you came back feeling sick and accused me of being the culprit. Good thing too, now it's more fine-tuned for your system, so goodbye violent rejection risks!"

A knife flew by a hair’s width from Shinra's head to lodge itself in the wall behind. Shizuo was still too busy unknowingly impersonating the aforementioned bass to scowl at Izaya for the knife, or growl at Shinra for experimenting on his honey again.

“I knew that was you! Those ‘impromptu’ cookies were a little too conveniently spaced, and too consistent in their flavour for Celty to have made them!"

After Psyche had been born, Celty had taken to many spontaneous “I'm happy I'm an aunt” visits, complete with gifts, to see the child.

"What kind of friend are you anyway?"

Shinra cheerily laughed. "A good one! The best, actually. I knew you'd be happy with a new little family member, and wasn't I right? Also, this from the friend who just threw a knife at my head." He poked the knife in question. It was in deep, a hard throw, and didn’t budge.

Shizuo began to find his voice again, if not the words to use it with. "But- you- e- "

“Its love Shinra, love!”

“I don't- before- you-“

“Oh, don't worry Shizu-chan, never that kind of love. That's only for you<3~” Izaya gave a flirtatious wink and blew a kiss at the end for good measure.

"Bleh, please, my heart is Celty's, and hers alone. And as if your disgusting personality that's somehow both needy and always wanting space,”

“I don’t- I mea- wh-“

“Not to mention both the S and M sides of the relationship at once, could ever attract me, even if it weren't compared to the luminous and radiant Celty. Her cute little mannerisms when we look out into the future, with our four beautiful children, who all take after her, naturally, and-"

"I like to be referred to as 'complicated'." Izaya cut in, "And is that any way to talk to a friend?"

"Looking back over our years together, and the knife in my wall, it may be the only way to talk to a friend. Just in case you never noticed, despite your claims to 'notice everything',"

"I do. Except when I've decided I didn't, until it better suits me again that I have."

"Uh huh. Anyways, it's a good thing I have other friends,”

Izaya snickered and raised an eyebrow.

“Celty and Shizuo count! Now, AS I WAS SAYING, it’s good I have other friends, because our brand of friendship _has_ always been more-"

"THE HELL?!?!!!"

“Ah, Shizu-chan, are you back with us?”

" **That's it**!? You were so goddamn pissed about having to carry another kid and now, what, you're over it?! Just like that?!?! Where's the yelling and the glaring and the turning the room into goddamn fucking Antarctica with Shinra as the shithole South Pole, centre of all things inconsiderate because you don't want to carry the next one again HUH?!?!?!?!

"I never said that."

" **YES YOU DID**!!!"

"Nope."

Inexplicable and mostly unintelligible sounds came out of Shizuo’s mouth. The ones that could be understood were profanities.

Undeterred and infuriatingly calm, Izaya proceeded to explain, "I merely expressed that I didn't appreciate you ASSUMING that I'd carry it. We're equal partners in this Shizu-chan."

Shizuo, despite intense teeth grinding and a deep, resounding growl, managed to form words again and get out: "You sure didn't make it _sound_ like you'd want to do it again."

“I didn't explicitly say I wanted not to, either.”

Shizuo yanked Izaya up by collar, trembling he was so mad.

"AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST SAID THA-"

Izaya let out a dramatic gasp, hands flying to his belly. “No, the baby!”

Shizuo let go, instantly apologetic and concerned. "Shit, sorry I....”

Izaya was shaking now. But not… upset… that was-

"...Wait.”

"HA!!!" screeched Izaya, who proceeded to die laughing, even falling off couch.

Shizuo’s face was overtaken by a raging blush of embarrassment at falling for such an obvious lie.

Unable to get a proper breath, but with a primal need to mock, Izaya’s broken speech tumbled through his manic cackling. “Haven't... yet... we... I'm not even... _can’t_ even… and... you...”

Shinra had his face turned away, one hand up, hiding his face.

"Just shut up, and let's go actually get that baby in you, got it!?" Shizuo proclaimed, temper making him too irrational to think straight.

"Ah, h-hold up Shizuo," Shinra quickly interjected. "You're d-doing long-term t-treatments ffff-*grhk*" Shinra determinedly tried to get himself under control. "f-first this time remember? It w-wouldn't work now anyways."

He finally settled as he got into some of the more technical details. "the major parts are still there, they aren't going to just dissolve because they're no longer actively being used, but he's not fertile. Obviously, as you haven't gotten pregnant again on your own yet. That's part one of my ingenious treatment regimen, the-"

"Yeah, got it." Shizuo cut him off early. He didn’t get it, and really didn't care.

"Can we get that going now, then?"

"I don't see why not. Like I said, I've been prepared for “long-term treatment experiment 2” for ages.

"Alright. Flea, c'mon." Shizuo looked over, then down, to find Izaya still curled on the floor, weeping in amusement and pure joy. His laughter had quieted, but the rampant giggles, spilling out of the most innocently childlike smile Shizuo had ever seen on that face, were no less fanatic.

Shinra leaned sideways to look past Shizuo. "This may be the happiest I've ever seen him. Wedding and Psyche’s arrival aside. It's kind of cute, actually. Awww."

"Fucker."

Begrudgingly calmer, Shizuo grabbed Izaya by the scruff of his coat, and slung him over his shoulder. Izaya flopped into place without resistance, still lost in glee.

"Where to?" Shizuo asked.

"Back here." Shinra led the way. Shizuo followed stiffly, irritation growing at the sound of what had descended back into familiar malicious snickering. Definitively more Izaya, but far more enraging. At least he could be angry again, instead of just embarrassed. It was unfairly impossible to stay mad at that adorable smile and hopeless giggling.

Shizuo muttered to himself, "Goddamn flea throwing fits." He pitched his voice higher, still in a mutter " 'I want to, I don't want to, oops, yes I do!' Fucking... mumblegrumble..."

Finally recovered, though with a Cheshire wide grin remaining, Izaya remarked “Again, I never actually said either, Shizu-chan. And I couldn’t refute what Shinra said. It was truth, can't help that.”

A remnant snicker slipped through Izaya’s mouth. _I'd already figured as much a long time ago anyway. The risks are pretty obvious to anyone who knows anything about Shizu-chan's physiology. Today was certainly fun and eventful, at any rate. Cute, wonderful, stupid Shizu-chan~_  
END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all! <3 Feel free to tell me what you think!  
> 


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